MINI-VACATION AND A LEGENDARY DAWG

"Whaaaat?" you ask. "What is the Dawg doing home on a Monday and why haven't we heard from him all weekend, as usual??" "Is he sick? Is he on vacation? What's goin' on here?"

In answer, let me say that, no, I'm not sick and as for the vacation, not yet (although this may count as a little "mini-vacation," sort of). Y'see, it's all in the nature of my load, which doesn't deliver until Wednesday afternoon, over in North Carolina. And it's an appointment load, which means that I can't deliver it early, so I'm "stuck" here at home until time to make my way east for the delivery. Not the worst place to be stuck, by any means.

Of course the downside of all this is that I'm not making a dime sitting around here, but nothing's perfect, is it? Slow time of the year and you get cut a little slack now and then, in the winter. I'll take it while I can get it. That's my philosophy. I'll be busting my posterior again before you know it, once things pick up in another month or so.

So, I'm taking life easy, hanging curtain rods for my mom, and installing the custom footpegs and shifter peg on Velvet which match her new custom handgrips. No pictures yet; that'll have to wait until I can get her outside in the sunshine again, in good light for quality pics. It was sunny while ago, while I was helping mom, but it's turned gloomy now and looks like rain, which is predicted tomorrow, so looks like little, if any, chance to give her some winter exercise. Ah, well, spring is coming -- sometime.

This load came from Iowa and picked up at an oddball hour, late Friday night. By the time I got it and began rolling east and southward, it was Saturday morning already. Too far to make K-Town legally, and I got my sleep shot to hell Friday anyway, so I took my required break and made it in here Sunday morning. Schmoozed around all day yesterday and didn't get a thing done -- not even this entry. Okay -- I got lazy. I confess! But I'm usually anything but lazy, so I feel like I'd earned my little slothful diversion and nobody was gonna deprive me of it! So there!!! I watched a new DVD I bought in the bargain bin of a truckstop and still got another one for tonight. Good ol' guy stuff; action flicks. Plenty of fast jet airplanes, bombs going off, and hot babes in skimpy outfits. Love it!! No wimpy chick flicks this time; just guy stuff. Sorry, girls, but I gotta be me sometimes!

Which brings me to. . . the part of this entry that inspired its title. Namely, the little known things about your favorite Dawg that you didn't know. Things that my own mom never knew. I mean, this was top secret for years and we're talking Super-Duper Top Secret. So danged secret that I didn't even know anything about it!! Until now. So here it goes -- the Legend of The Dawg -- a legend in his own mind!

**  You never see the Dawg, but he can see you. If you do see the Dawg, you might be only seconds away from death!

**  The Dawg doesn't need a gun, or a bow in order to go hunting. He can merely glance at a game animal and it will immediately commit suicide. When the Dawg does use weapons to hunt, he calls in an air strike with cruise missiles and takes out the whole side of a hill at once. He bags enough to fill twenty or thirty freezers.

**  The Dawg never conducts searches on the web. He stares it down until he gets the information he wants.

**   When the Dawg hangs curtain rods, he makes his own out of 3/4" chrome moly tubing, welded to titanium alloy gusset plates. These are then bolted to the wall with case-hardened, aircraft-quality fasteners. He's never had a single rod to come down yet.

**  Never get behind the Dawg when he accelerates his pickup truck away from a traffic light. The heat from the jet blast has been known to melt the plastic bumpers of cars behind him.

**  The Dawg has been known to melt the hearts of ladies with a single smile. That smile can have other very pleasant effects, too, but I can't describe them in this family-oriented journal. You single ladies will have to find out for yourselves. Any takers??

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