MOTORCYCLE, OR GIRLFRIEND??

TOP FIVE REASONS WHY A MOTORCYCLE IS BETTER THAN A GIRLFRIEND:


1. A bike doesn't get jealous when you look at other bikes.

2. A bike is ready to go anywhere you want to go, anytime, instantly.

3. A bike will never wake you up at 3:00 A.M. and ask you what you're thinking.

4. A bike will never ask you if the new saddlebags make its rear end look too big.

5. You can ride a bike all you want to, without spending a dime on it.




TOP FIVE WAYS TO FALL OFF OF A MOTORCYCLE:

1. Ride a dirtbike under a neighbor's clothesline (actually happened to me, years ago).

2. Come home drunk at 4 A.M., miss the turn into your driveway, plow into dew-sodden grass, riding on street tires (might as well be on ice).

3. Stop on a steep incline and absent-mindedly put your foot down on the downhill side!!

4. Put your foot down in an oil puddle at a gas station pump.

5. Try to pop a "wheelie" to impress a girl and lose your grip on the handlebars.




NOTABLE CELEBRITIES AND MOTORCYCLES

1. Marlon Brando/Lee Marvin: The two stars of The Wild One -- the movie adaptation of the Hollister, CA incident, in 1947, that gave biker gangs (and bikers in general) a bad reputation, largely undeserved. Both actors actually owned and rode motorcycles in real life. Brando, in fact, rode his own personal bike in the film, a Triumph TR6 model. While the Harley that Marvin rode in the film was supplied by the film studio, he actually owned a Harley-Davidson of his own and rode quite often in his personal life. The main riding scenes in the film were shot with the actors actually riding the bikes, not stand-ins or stunt riders.


2. Steve McQueen: Ever seen the classic WWII film, The Great Escape, and the sequence in which McQueen's character is trying to cross the German/Swiss border on a motorcycle?? That was actually Steve McQueen on the bike, doing his own stunt work in the movie. McQueen was a successful motorcycle racer before he became an actor, so he had plenty of chops to do the job in the film. The bike he was using to jump over those barricades was in reality a 500cc Triumph, which had been cosmetically disguised, to make it look like a WWII-era German military machine. One of Steve McQueen's personal bikes, a pristine vintage Indian machine, is on permanent display today at the National Motorcycle Museum, in Anamosa, IA.


3. Peter Fonda/Dennis Hopper: The two stars of Easy Rider were also both real-life bikers, as well as actors. Both actors also did all their own actual riding in the film. Fonda's "Captain America" chopper, as well as the Harley bobber that Hopper rode in the film, were commissioned and created especially for the film and the American flag-themed chopper has since become legendary among motorcyclists all over the world. It currently resides in the National Motorcycle Museum, in Iowa.


4. Kyle Petty: The son of NASCAR legend, Richard Petty, is a long-time biker as well as a NASCAR star in his own right. His annual cross-country charity ride draws riders from all over the country, as well as from other nations. The younger Petty owns several motorcycles, mostly Harley-Davidsons, including some vintage machines. All proceeds from his charity events go to the camp he created, which gives aid to disadvantaged children.

5. G. Gordon Liddy: Radio talk-show host, actor, and Watergate "plumber" Liddy owned five Harleys at one time. His wife, Frances, made him get rid of all but two of them, as he related to listeners on his popular show awhile back. Liddy makes his pilgrimage to the huge rally in Sturgis, SD, every summer, and his show has been broadcast on location from there most years. An avid motorcyclist, Liddy also attends several other rallies during the season every year. Look for his famous "G-Man" helmet, if you go to rallies; you might just get a chance to shake hands with him sometime.

6. Jay Leno: The Tonight Show host and comedian has an extensive collection of classic and performance cars, as well as a motorcycle collection. Another avid rider, Leno can often be seen on the streets of L.A., riding one of his Harleys, or custom bikes around. He also shows up regularly at Sturgis, as well as many other rallies around the country. He was seen most recently in Milwaukee, WI, at Harley's 105th Anniversary celebration back in August.

7. Henry Winkler: The Fonz character he portrayed on the TV show, Happy Days, was a biker, but nothing could be further from the truth for the actor himself. "They (motorcycles) scare me," Winkler told an interviewer one time. And so, "The Fonz," who recently had a statue unveiled in Milwaukee, will always remain a fictional biker.